I was asked the other day: “would you like to be tied in other forms than Gote?” After some thinking, I had to answer twofold.
First, I don’t mind being tied into anything. I love being touched and enjoy the feeling of being restricted and impacted and held and and… by my partner. Whatever he chooses to do to me, I can enjoy that.
But also, I would dont mind being tied only into Gote till the rest of my life. Because there is so much in it. Because it’s different every time anyway. Because it’s not about the form… Because there is no form, but only our perception of it.
Obviously, both answers say the same. Which brings me to the other point.
When we ask rope bottoms at workshops for feedback, sometimes we hear: “Well, it was not so hard / challenging…” Said with this slightly questioning intonation, meaning: “...they didn’t mess it up completely, but there was potential for so much more”.
When we catch ourselves thinking like that, we really have to stop and reflect:
What is this “is that all you can do” mindset?
Why this constant hunger for grandiosity and novelty?
I really think we can do better than transmitting a feeling of disappointment to our partner.
We can live our own story in rope, no matter how simple the tie is. All we need to do is to lower our expectations and open up ourselves to feel. And this is our practice.
We can have a very different emotional experience even if we have been tied in the same thing a hundred times. All we need to do is to anticipate less and start appreciating the nuances of what is there in the moment between us and our partner.
And this, too, is our practice.