It’s just a skill. You can learn it.
What if the things we struggle with most in relationships are simply skills we haven’t learned yet? Trust, communication, intimacy, surrender. We expect ourselves to know how to do these things, even though many of us never had good teachers. But if they are skills, we are allowed to be bad at them. We are allowed to learn. Even after fifteen years, I’m still learning how to follow someone I deeply trust. Perhaps we could meet ourselves and each other with a little more compassion along the way.