I was watching this woman in ropes. It was hypnotic to me how unapologetically bold she was in receiving impact. Such as leaning all in and taking it all. I was watching, almost breathless, searching for a word to describe this quality. It wasn’t about being “tough”. “Toughness”, to me, suggests bracing, hardening, going through something. But she was just not holding back. Being curious. Open towards the impact. Fearless. She let it very deep inside.
Interestingly, I know this woman outside of ropes, and she is just as open and non judgemental when we talk. She meets life with the same curiosity and openness. That’s really how she is.
Here is the thing. There are a handful of rope bottoms who are just so interesting to watch. I can sit there for hours, watching what is unfolding right in front of me. They are magnificent. All of them have absolutely unique, unrepeatable qualities… be it about diving in, embracing impact, expressing themselves… You just cannot take your eyes away from them!
What I think they have in common is that they step – unapologetically – into being themselves. Not micro-managing, not performing or pretending, not judging themselves, but fully embracing who they are and not trying to become anything else.
I cannot help but wonder: How often is it our own judgement that stands in the way of our experience? How much of our experience do we actually allow ourselves to have? How much of our attention goes into trying to become someone we think we should be, worrying about what we should feel, how we should behave, and what would be more appropriate, more beautiful, more impressive, more acceptable, rather than simply being who we are?
I am reminded of Alan Watts speaking about seashells in his The Web of Life lectures which I love very much.
You know, we pick up shells—I always keep one around, as sort of an example for many things—and say, “My goodness, isn’t that gorgeous!” There’s not an aesthetic fault in it anywhere. It’s absolutely perfect. Now, I wonder. I wonder if these fish look at each other’s shells and say, “Don’t you think she’s kind of fat?” “Oh my, those markings aren’t really very well spaced.” Because that’s what we do…
We all are unique. That’s simply a matter of nature. Nature is generous, creative and non-repetitive. There are no two trees exactly alike. No two seashells. No two people.
That’s just your story, your expression. When you let it become visible, witnesing something like that is a deeply humbling and rewarding experience.
