I got to talk to someone the other day – a newbie rope bottom. They told me that the rigger stopped tying them because they were not educated enough. For instance, about anatomy and limits.
It somehow got stuck in my mind. Somehow, I wanted to reflect on it – remembering and honouring my own beginnings, aka the “time of great confusion”.
I really believe you don’t need to be educated to be tied up. A lot of what is happening in ropes is accessible to us intuitively. This is from my coaching philosophy on our website:
“Generally speaking, I don’t believe a formal education is necessary to enjoy ropes. From birth, we all carry the natural capacity to sense what is happening, to enjoy what feels good, and to refuse what doesn’t. We intuitively send out non-verbal communication cues, and our partners naturally pick them up… “
That is not to say that there is nothing to learn. It is absolutely possible to learn a lot in ropes and deepen our experience , making it more consciuos, inetrnal and safe – when there is our desire to do so. Rope practice can facilitate a deep introspective journey. We can become aware of where we are holding back, about the patterns of our attention, about our communication and safety strategies, we can discover what we like and what we don’t like and million other things.
Learning itself can be very enjoyable and fun! It’s enjoyable to get together and nerd the whole weekend about the topics we are passionate about.
I’m, however, concerned that our obsession with education is getting out of proportion. Riggers start to think they must “obtain the right” to tie a certain thing on the partner’s body by attending a workshop.
Now it hits the bottom side: they need to be educated in order to be tied up.
Are we expanding our viewpoint with “education,” or are we getting more and more rigid?
The word “workshop” I heard for the first time when I came to Europe. There is no workshop culture where I’m coming from. Translating for the guest presenters from Moscow in SCHWELLE7 back in 2016, I had to explain to them what everyone expects of them as teachers. They wanted to do “action” – to tie. They had no idea what “a workshop” was.
I’ve heard countless times how Japanese teachers, in their early visits to Europe, didn’t know how to “workshop” either.
Which tells us something important: the way we hold for sacred is just one way of doing it.
I believe in everything we do, we must maintain a connection with “what is”. If you are tying a beginner bottom, yes, they might be confused about what they feel in their bodies. So maybe slow down. It’s a natural thing to do.
Interestingly enough, when my book came out, I got heavily criticised for using the word “natural”. And I will continue to use it, for there is such a reality as nature. Bodies are not things to be educated or tools to be optimised. They are our temples. They are our guides. The belief behind this critique is exactly what makes us decadent as a society: we no longer strive to live in alignment with nature. And it leads us to a place where we have so much education, and yet so much confusion.
The last blog this year. I wish you all a good and meaningful transition into 2026! Please remember: nothing will be different in the next year – unless we make an effort to change it <3
